My Shower Rocks!

One of the first things I wanted to add to the new apartment when I moved in was a GIANT shower head. It only took me a year and a half to do it, does that count? Before the new shower head, there was a tiny little shower head that barely drizzled enough water onto my body so I didn't freeze to death. I was constantly moving and spinning and shifting to get water anywhere but on my shoulder. I was barely able to get enough water to soak the body scrub, let alone wash my hair in less than 30 minutes or say, shave my legs. Granted, I'm remarkably skilled at shaving my legs in the bathroom sink but all it takes is a few slips and you look like you tried shaving with a kitten. This particular shower head, I'm fairly certain, was installed when the apartment was built, or was borrowed from an apartment built in the '80s. Either way, it was a piece of silver shit. Several of the holes on the side of it were blocked by mineral buildup, and several of the water sprays went straight over the top of the shower curtain. There were days it looked like there was more water on the floor than in the shower itself. Not only did the shower not fulfill my needs, but Cooper and Matilda suffered as well. And you might be asking yourself, "Self, do dogs really have shower needs?" And the answer to that question is yes. The fact you are asking this question makes me think you don't care about your shower head. It also tells me you may not have dogs. (Shame on you, dogs are awesome!) On the occasion that it was puppy bath time, I would have to practically sit in the tub with them and pour water out of a cup on them. They'd give me a look, especially Matilda, that says "Really? A cup of water at a time? You know that once you pour it that I start to freeze. Look, I'm shivering. Happy now? And now I'm pissed. I'm going to shake and disperse some of that elsewhere...like on your socks. Oh, and on THE REST OF ME THAT IS STILL DRY BECAUSE A CUP OF WATER WON'T DO IT." Because of this behavior, one of the requirements of the new shower head was that it had the sprayer attachment. Well, after searching tirelessly at Bed, Bath, and Beyond I spotted it. Sitting there, in all of it's giant awesome glory, THE shower head of my dreams. Is it pathetic that I dream of a shower head that has rainbows and sparkles coming out of it? Maybe. But is it any more pathetic than my old stupid shower head? Nope. There's something about standing in the shower now that makes me feel like I might actually make it in this world. And all it took, was a giant, magical, rainbow and sparkle shooting shower head. And now when the dogs threaten to start shaking water everywhere, especially if they start eyeing my socks (wet socks are the worst thing ever-period), I can just soak them with the sprayer and stare at them in wide-eyed, glorious ecstasy...because my shower head rocks!